I’m not talking about kittens and puppies and babies here.
I’m not talking about cultivating that sort of gentleness.
I’m talking about gentleness as the best response to those moments when you are between a rock and a hard place.
When you have really been dealt a super crummy unfair hand.
Gentleness is about the state of your heart and what sort of sowing you are doing there.
The cultivation of gentleness is directly related to not being arrogant. Arrogance comes from hanging on to the reference point of me and other.
We think we deserve this or that, we think our needs are somehow more important than other people’s suffering, we think we have accomplished something, we think we are a big deal, we feel entitled because we have worked hard….it goes on and on in a million flavors.
But the main point, is that arrogance is the main obstacle to gentleness.
The offspring, if you will, of gentleness are Patience and Tolerance and Acceptance.
Gentleness is all the ways we fight the good inner fight to stay soft and tender when we are seduced and pulled by aggression and arrogance.
We have to be very honest with ourselves and examine the ways we are arrogant and aggressive and use the teachings and/or therapy to appear gentle, but in fact are just trying to get our way.
Gentleness is not a limp dishrag or a doormat.
Gentleness is a compassionate assertion toward true power.