My good friend Charles died recently. Yesterday I went to his memorial service.
He was someone who participated fully in life and was always up to some hilarious mischief. He engaged with daily life with a wry smile on his face and loved to play. Being with him, was to be suspended from the worry and anxieties of my life. After one of our outings, I always felt refreshed, renewed, lighthearted.
I feel really sad and I also feel that nebulous anger that you can’t do a damn thing about someone being gone. It’s all so impermanent folks. Poof! In a moment, someone disappears forever.
And that’s why we really should try and lighten up and enjoy things a little more. And also, as Charles would say to everyone, “If that’s what you want to do, you really should do everything you can to make that happen.”
And so in the absence of a friend and amidst the fleetingness of my life, I am renewed to live more fully. To enjoy, to lighten up, to make the things that I long to do, happen.
“The nimble ovenbird.
The dignity of pears.
The simplicity of oars.
The imperishable engines
inside slim fir seeds.
All of these hint how much we long for the impermanent
to be permanent.
We want the hermit wren to keep her eggs
even during the storm.
And we want eternal oceans.
But we are perishable friends.
We are salty, impermanent kingdoms.”
-Robert Bly
{ 6 comments }
I am very sad for your loss. My 7 year old daughter is developing a sense of death and mortality and we have been talking a lot about it lately. She cries to me at night that it’s ‘just not fair’ that people have to die and I tell her she’s right.
This is a lovely tribute to your friend. I believe that one of the things we gain from the passing of loved ones is the wisdom to know how grateful we are to be alive. We honor them by doing so fully and completely.
.-= denicekimberly´s last blog ..today i am grateful for … =-.
I am sorry about your loss.
I don’t have words eloquent enough to express that this is the central preoccupation of my life as well, the single thing that causes me the most grief … the impermanence and fleetingness of it all.
xox
I’m so sorry for your loss Bindu.
My own loss recently (my father, 3 months ago today) has taught me that the impermanence, while the most painful thing in life, is actually where the beauty comes from.
Life IS so bright and shining, and love IS so important BECAUSE it is all so fleeting.
Live, laugh and love as though there’s a fire raging in your hair, because one day soon you won’t be able to.
x
Second Fig
Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand!
–Edna St. Vincent Millay
Thank you for this beautiful post. It does my heart good. Lots of love to you.
.-= Kate T.W.´s last blog ..I cant go on I must go on I go on Dealing with Defeatism =-.
Love to you – impermanence may be inevitable, but that doesn’t stop our hearts from aching.
.-= Marianne´s last blog ..Karma yoga- yoga in service =-.
The heart goes out, as I’ve just been to visit a dear friend who’s that ill. I love that your impulse at this time is to share Let’s Lighten Up, and to offer this Bly poem, so exquisitely made. Every good wish to you, Bindu, as we ride our glass eggs through this wild wind of karmas and of fellow beings, wielding the blessing of knowledge.
.-= cecibooks´s last blog ..Ms Tillotson’s Class – The Amazing Room 11 =-.